Fierce at it’s finest

Today I want to take a step back, and step into my power again. Power comes in all forms in my life, but what it always boils down to are the deepest feelings that overwhelm my body in the most motivating and inspiring ways.

I’ve always tended to “blog” the easy way- quick posts on Instagram, because Lord knows I wasn’t finding enough time to write a full post, edit it, add photos, then link it here, there, and everywhere.

But today, I realized again-the power of social media. I woke up to a negative comment; but then a massive amount of emails and messages of people reaching out in all directions- from beauty questions with products i’m trying out, and even work opportunities.

Around 10 am this morning I regained my power. I was finally in control again in my life. And in control, and in my power, is not being “perfect,” or having a “smooth” day. In control and in my power feels crazy; chaotic. FIERCE.

I’ve been avoiding small tasks lately- putting clean laundry away, scrubbing lipstick off my rug, cleaning the toilet seat- showering. haha #momlife right? right!

10 am was the start of a conversation that landed me another at-home job-score! Then 11:15 am was a call leading to progress for my brand. I immediately felt a rush fill my body when I hung up these calls. Partially in control of today and my near future. I sent the emails I needed to send, and stumbled across a friend’s Facebook post. She described a hard day with her toddler. I’ve seen a ton of these posts lately. I’ve been so inspired by these, and lost the drive to also speak of these topics because I was at a 9-5 for almost a year and didn’t get to witness full blown motherhood at the time.

After explaining to my friend how amazing she is, I walked into my room and I felt the first bit of overwhelm. I walked in to find my 2 year old created yet again another disaster. Every day is a new one. I’ve hesitated to post experiences because of judgment from “non parents,” but shit; i’m transparent, and my energy is protected. No one can sway how I feel about myself or how I decided to raise my girls/ embrace motherhood.

Ivory is my little thunder. I call her and Avynn “thunder and lightning,” I looked at my desk, and there she was. Mind you, while I was on the phone I was making sure to keep checking in on her to make sure she was still on my bed watching “Coco.” Now my desk is decently organized-but not technically “child proof.” There’s eye shadow palettes, makeup brushes, lip stick etc. Child proofing is great, but my desk is for me, so I’ve been trying to teach my girls to respect others personal boundaries when it comes to materials.

Any wayssssss- She turns around at me and boom, full blown raccoon face.Eye shadow eyes, painted face, lip stick, and hands covered in my brand new eye shadow palette. My desk chair covered. My white comforter covered. Mind you, a few weeks back I was finishing up dishes (trusting her to play in her room with her dolls) when I walked into the same exact scenario. It was so wild I had to document it in video. Which I will be posting a video on my channel about the Fierce realities of Mom.

Granted, okay shes two it’s going to take time to teach her the concept of boundaries. So, I grab her by the arms so her hands cant touch anything else, and run the tub for her. I give running water baths while I cleaned the toilet. These are baths where I don’t plug the tub, and just let her free play in the water, with cups and ABC foam letters.

So I clean the bathroom, she plays. I get her out, she gets herself dressed in some jammies and I was fine with that. I lay her in the bed because nap time for miss Ivory is 11a-12p or 11:30a-12:30p. What a laugh today, meanwhile it’s 12:!5 she’s cried for “yo-get,” (yogurt), and I denied her 3x after her having a donut this morning, half of my breakfast sandwich, 2 sips of my coffee that I bribed her with when she brought her dads soda bottle to me, crying for that.

Lately I’ve been trying to say “yes” to my girls more. Mostly because my 6 year old thinks i’m a “mean mom.” More importantly because saying yes has eased a little more anxiety for me and dodged a few more tantrums from both girls. Helping them will help me, which helps them. I just don’t want “brats,” or “spoiled ones.”

So next, nap time attempt #3. I stopped working, and realized -shit she’s such a little babe I need to treat her like a baby for a minute. I picked her up and began singing, and rocking her. She cries for pasta. I tell her once she wakes up from her nap I will make it for her. I tell her, “your belly needs to rest.” She tells me “my hungry mommy.” I ignore her 2-year-old requests and start singing. Always improv-made-up lullaby’s. They work for 30 seconds because she’s confused at why there’s so many songs involving her.

She stiffens her body and throws the 4th tantrum since waking up. I laugh at her because of how strong she is and how hard it was for me to contain her long body. She gets so angry. I told her to close her eyes and began to blow softly on her face saying over and over “my beautiful baby, awwww, close your eyes baby, I love you, i’m gonna rock you, go to sleep.” She started to calm down and close her eyes. I thought “yasssssss.” …….nope. She opens her eyes and says “okay mommy I sleep.” (Meaning she thinks she slept because she closed her eyes for almost 3 minutes). I busted out laughing because she’s so cute it’s disgusting how much this one controls my emotions-i love it.

She then tries to distract me and tells me to look at her foot, then continues to show me every “boo boo” she has. All I wanted to do was answer all of these messages and emails blowing up my phone. But I realized this moment I wouldn’t feel again once shes no longer interested in cuddling with me. I figured hey make her the pasta, fill her belly-then get back to work.

Meanwhile I write this and it’s 2:30. Her sister gets off the bus at 3:10/3:15 depending on the day. We ran all errands this morning, and stayed outside running around the trees letting the sun “kiss us” as we say. But today, my plan was to put away that dirty laundry, answer those emails, clean that toilet seat and shit maybe take a shower for the first time in 2 days?

I came into my power again by letting go. Releasing the anxiety and pressure to do it all. Today I had to cater to the every need, crumb, and bittersweet cuddle of my two year old.

Being fierce is realizing each fear. Fear of deadlines, imperfection, and mistakes- but doing it all anyways. Bossing up every day and making sure I chip away at mastering what “balance” truly is.

I made a promise to myself today to answer each scream from my higher self. Today she was screaming to keep embracing my journey- with it first being motherhood and remaining natural, organic, and transparent.

And if you need a laugh today- here’s one: I finally looked over to see this (I smiled so big), and right when she heard the click of my camera she wiggled a bit and then finally woke up and whined for “more pasta please mama.” It’s 2:42 pm and still no nap; sigh – I got this.

 

lol

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Woah. Time to glow.

Guys!!! It has seriously been a long long long time coming. I re-downloaded my blog app, and I’ve never been more excited to share my journey with you all.

I always forget how therapeutic it is to write out my experiences. I spent the past 11 months working a 9-5. More like a 1-10pm that left me with very little satisfaction-but I pushed through, up until yesterday. Yesterday I decided to quit my job. Full force, no notice to my co-workers, no 2 week notice. An email sent, and boom I released myself.

It was time to focus all of my energy back into myself; My family. Before I am a mother I am a 27 year old strong, powerful, creative woman. I have so much to offer back to myself- and then the world. I needed to reinvest into my visions, my dreams, MY goals. Not 9 hour shifts that left me drained, regretful, and anxious. I had to do this, especially to make sure I was able to be the best mom and wife I can be.

Don’t get me wrong these past 11 months taught me so much about myself, the world around me, and most importantly it re-opened my eyes to exactly why I never wanted to settle for a corporate job- my dreams, goals and requests will never compare to a store managers goal to hit the month. I was slaving for someone else’s dreams that didn’t impact my mental health, nor my pocket.

I do not want to put too much regret into my experiences because as I said-this year has taught me so so so much! I met some amazing people, and learned all the lessons god gave me. Throughout this 9-5 life, I also got very very embedded in my spiritual journey. I met investors who believed in my vision for my shoe design, and I also applied to be Executive of Design & Marketing for a start up brand! If it wasn’t for my faith, and following my intuition, I would have never taken jumps towards these goals of mine.

Because of being so in touch with my higher self, I knew this is where my path had to end; and begin. I am finally in my power again, and right now I feel vulnerable but so sure about myself.

To anyone battling with depression, anxiety, overthinking, unhappiness, (any mental health battle) just know that sometimes it’s best to just push that reset button. If there’s something you’ve wanted to do and have been waiting for the right time: now is that time. We are the only ones in control of our own happiness. We cannot be happy with our lives unless we are happy with our present. And of course every day and every moment won’t be so “great,” but those were my 11 months. Not “great,” but I pushed. Just know that during those days I was still happy at how far I had come from even the 11 months before then.

I cannot wait to share more with you all-in hopes to inspire more like-minded individuals to jump. Take the dive. Live every day pushing towards your dreams-even the ones everyone thinks you’re absolutely crazy for.

It feels great to write again, talk soon-

Xx 4o1fierce

Self care, aware

Like I always say..it’a been forever y’all! I’ve been working working working working working…lol and trying my best to make the most of my summer with my girls! Sometimes I get so caught up in the day to day, that days become months and it scares the hell out of me. Especially with Ivory turning two- where does time go! And, literally Avynn lost her first tooth today- it’s crazyyyyy!

With working, and building a brand my time has felt so limited- I’m sure you all feel this way with your busy lives as well. Where do we find balance? How? Working out, seeing friends, 9-5’s, etc Welp, i’ve found that what’s been worse for me is pushing the “little” things to the side- which really aren’t so “little.” James and I have been working, picking the girls up, home, eat, sleep, repeat. This is why I find so much pride in working out and taking care of how my body feels/looks- in order to tackle my goals.

However, for way too long now, we’ve been neglecting the relaxation time of being a family. Our car was cluttered, our apartment was cluttered, and for months it’s been driving me insane. Why not just clean it? I gave up- I literally would clean to then see our car and our home wrecked in 2 days. It sounds so stupid coming out, but now I realize exactly why. I would rather spend time outside the apartment, with the girls whether at the beach, or an adventure. Then we would get home before dinner time, cook, eat, and sleep. I found myself not even wanting to be at home. I was escaping my own reality. IT SOUNDS RIDICULOUS I KNOW! 

So why did it take me so long? No idea, but how did I fix it? This is what this post is eventually getting to – haha

I have been meditating like crazy before bed so it honestly allows me to wake up with a clear mind, and a motivated one (on top of burning sage before bed and in the morning). I woke up helped my sister with my niece and nephew while she started her new job, and then I was hit with a crazy wave of motivation. I cleaned the entire car out, then stopped at the store to get new cleaning products, and ended up back at home putting laundry away, and cleaning every single room top to bottom. James got home, we stopped at the mall to let Ave pick out some school clothes, and then stopped at the grocery store! I ran in, spent $100 in groceries, then went home and cooked a beautiful dinner, accompanied by some flowers that legit light up the room!

THIS TYPE OF DAY WAS EVERYTHING I NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!!

I de-cluttered my living spaces, and decided to make a huge meal so that I could bring left overs to work. I enjoyed a huuuuuge glass of wine- lol and went to sleep satisfied!

Most times going out to eat is enjoyable, although the girls make it crazy. Most times hanging at someone else’s house is enjoyable, but relaxing at home at the end of a crazy day is great.

I didn’t mention the fact that I got rid of an entire trash bag full of clothing that I ripped out of my closet. I felt sooooo amazing getting all of the junk out of my zone. And lastly, instead of spending $100 on a night out to eat I re-created one of James and my fav meals from one of our date spots (A twist on Rasta Pasta from Red Parrot)

Here are some photos:

If you can take anything from this post, know that all things in your space, affect your energy 100% so starting with where you lay your head is most important! Take time for yourself, it doesn’t mean spending $ or indulging all the time. De-cluttering literally gave me such a fresh start to this month!!

I have so much more to share with you all, hope you enjoyed

xx, 4o1fierce

HI! HEY! HELLO!// Why I waist train

Like I always say…it’s been way too long. But seriously…it has. I had a notification sent to me that it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, and they’re so so right! I’ve been back to work, trying to balance everything else as well as keep up with this “blogging thing.” haha

But in all seriousness I really wanted to hop on here to make a habit of this again- not because I have to but I miss it. Writing for me/journalism has been a HUGE passion of mine, since 4th grade when I had to write my first “reflection” on Maniac McGee.

Blogging is like venting, however I love it even more for the inspiration-side. I blog clothing, and that all started while pregnant ( to help women/mamas embrace who they are always). It’s most beautiful when you feel comfortable in your skin! But I also love to blog to answer questions, give you all tips and tricks- as well as how I “handle” mom life haha

So starting today, I am making the decision to finally blog again- because I have been “fast posting.” This is when I just take photos on Instagram, with no explanations or tips- just to post quick, and keep my content up-to-date. Because of this, unfortunately I’ve been neglecting my WordPress blog as well as my Youtube Vlog. But.guys!!!!!!!!

I’ll be vlogging again before the end of July since i’ll be investing in a brand new camera- this means content upon content. And your fav-Life in the Fierce Lane (James and I raising two crazy, beautiful beanies)!

So end of the intro here, I want to finish this post before my lunch break ends!

For now on, I will be posting “short cut” swipe-up links on my Instagram that bring my readers directly here to read my blog posts! I don’t want to just be a “Scroll on an IG feed.” I want to make sure I’m embracing all inspirations through my blog.

Today’s topic that’s always asked about is totally fitness related! Especially relatable for my mama readers-Waist training!!

I know, I know I’ve heard it all- “it smooshes/moves your organs,” “it’s dangerous,” “it’s fake.” So I wanted to just clarify the amount of time you wear a trainer for/when you wear it matters most. I began waist training (on and off) since after my first pregnancy. I had a huge umbilical hernia after giving birth to Avynn ( allll 9lb 4.5oz of her) Yikes!

After working out between both daughters, short after Ivory was born I discovered my bloating seriously wouldn’t go away. I’ve always had a bloated stomach as a child/teen, so that wasn’t anything abnormal, but pain, fatigue and extra bloating caused me to undergo 2 surgeries. I had my hernia repaired after Avynn, and then again after Ivory.

My OBGYN suggested the waist trainer postpartum to help my abdominal walls “meet again.” I waist train for about 2 hours a day. It helps my posture, and I see an immediate difference afterwards ( especially with tightening of my skin).

I also wear my waist trainer while working out ( on days I have dairy/junk) because this helps my results quicker, as well as a huge sweat-out.

I find that wearing it while working out straightens my posture and helps me bang out my workouts 10x quicker!

After Ivory my stomach was crazzzzzzyyyy different so I even began wearing my waist cincher in blog photos to avoid the bloat on camera! I think this was the greatest little trick after giving birth, that’s a big controversy to a lot of people. I don’t feel my trainer is too tight or damaging! At most I may get red skin haha

If you guys have any more questions or want to know more tips about how I waist train ( what creams I use, what workouts I do with it, sizing, brand etc) comment here or send me a direct message on my Instagram at @kashaxmarie

There’s no such thing as an immediate “bounce-back” or a “snatched waist” after becoming a mama! What you see via the internet is 9x out of 10 : 1. purchased 2.photoshopped

Howvever, there is hope! With some tips and tricks my transformation is starting to shock me more and more!

xx, 4o1fierce

Mama matching!

Once again I’ve been working my buns off and spending time with family-neglecting my blog and letting time pass!

Happy belated Mother’s Day to all the strong mamas out there!!

I had a nice and relaxing Mother’s Day, I slept in until 8 haha and James surprised me with breakfast in bed and I sat in bed with the girls for hours just relaxing, eating, and laughing.

These are all the little things I haven’t had the chance to enjoy lately-we’re both always on the go and haven’t had some solid family time in a little over a month!

For Mother’s Day I decided to whip out these adorable matching dresses from Pat Pat!

The weather here in Rhode Island has been so up and down, but let me tell you-I’m sooo obsessed with how easy it is to get ready especially with my 2 girls-throw on their dresses and we are out the door!

These dresses were so cute I know I’ll transition them into fall with some leggings, booties, and cardigans for the 3 of us!

You can use my code ‘Fierce12’ to save- you’ll be obsessed with how inexpensive their clothing is for such great quality!!

Spring peakin’ w/prints!

Another day that started beautiful, and then reminds us how crazy New England weather is -eye roll

March is almost over and the minute the sun shines, best believe I’ve been taking full advantage haha

I’ve had this outfit for months and months but finally decided to whip it out! I looooove love love love love love mixing. I’ve been called tacky, corny, old-grandpa-ish

I want to focus on skirts today! Since I was younger I was so self conscious of my legs (especially in skirts). They resembled 2 toothpicks, then two hot dogs haha

However, I never realized how versatile they could be!! I’ve worn this skirt on the weekend with a graphic tee and sneakers, and today I decided to dress it up!

Like I said a thousand times I love to wear prints, just wait and see how I begin to clash them!! Don’t be scared ladies, there are never any rules I swear!

I decided to pair this outfit with these little white booties for a classic twist! I was also in gooooood need of a tan-and some moisturizer on my knees- yikes

It’s been awhile since I’ve just put together outfits for me, for the sake of embracing my creativity. Sometimes we get so caught up in the day-by-day that we forget to outshine our creativity to the fullest.

This was also before I completely chopped more hair off- and toned it rose gold! Can’t wait to show you guys!

I guess you can say I’ve been itching for a change, and staying bold!

I purchased this skirt from my favorite local boutique here in Rhode Island called Elle G ( I’ve mentioned them several times-as well as included this skirt in a haul last month on my YouTube Channel). If you’re interested in this skirt here are my fav selling points-

•It has pockets!

• It’s stretchy!

• It buttons up instead of zips!

• Versatile material so it looks great dressed up or dressed down!

Purchase here – Gingham Skirt!

Also, I am wearing mine in a size medium! I suggest going a size smaller if you choose to wear it high waisted because without a belt I had some gap!!

Hope you all have a great Easter!

Xx, 4O1FIERCE

What is this weather?!

March 26, and the sun is slowly peaking out-I’m begging for nicer weather!!!

Yesterday was James and my 13th year together-knowing, growing, and loving. This week I finished my last mid-term, so over all I’m feeling accomplished, and ready for Spring. We all are. Our family also just went through a tremendous loss of a close family member so I’m struggling to keep it all together.

Life is precious, and powerful.

I want to keep this short and sweet- here’s a look I put together. Ladies-take a basic pair of denim and a t-shirt and make an over coat and your shoes the star of the show!

Details about my outfit can be found always on my Instagram at @kashaxmarie

Tomboy X

It’s been forever, I know I know! It was my Spring break this past week, and all I did was stress about 1 more mid term coming Tuesday- haha

James and I go to always go to Florida every year for our Anniversary, and Avynn’s birthday as well. This year we decided to skip the vacation and reach some bigger goals.

With being on-the-go (always) I promised myself I’d do more than just “throw myself together”, but let.me.tell.you. Menswear has been my go-to since pregnancy!

I teamed up about a month ago with a brand called TomboyX . I love what their brand stands for, they embrace all shapes and sizes-they sell bras and underwear. I decided to wear my 9″ briefs in a menswear look that was so so comfy!

I loved the color of these boxers, and how soft they are. These are from their Micromodal collection! I have another pair I’ll be capturing soon. James is already fighting me for these.

Hopefully we will be seeing more of a glimpse of Spring soon-I love taking basic shoes and a basic top, and having shorts/skirt as the highlight!

Less is more!

Happy February 1!!! Shortest month, but with the most goals I swear! I’ve never been obsessed over Valentine’s Day – however I wanted to at least get excited for something I love- Making less more!

Since I was younger I loved to take things from my closet and transform them. I loved DIY, and I loved to create and design my own outfits. When it comes to holidays and events 8/10 I decide to put stuff together that I already have in my closet. This way I always put my own twist on whatever I wear.

When the New Year came around I wanted to go through my closet and get rid of a tonnnn. I had the thought “less is more” in mind. Minimalism. I filmed a “Less is more with L’ange” video on my channel that I will be posting! I explain here how not only was my look simple and easy, but L’ange’s products make your look more, even only using 2 products like I did!

I have a lot of comments and messages sent to me weekly asking where I purchased this or that, or even just endless compliments saying “I love how you put things together,” “I love your outfit,” “style me.” It makes me happy knowing my creativity inspires other women.

I love to take clothes and transition them, I love to layer, I love to mix things together.

In my video I show you all how to take a simple shirt, hair style, and bold lip- and use these tips for any birthday, event, holiday, or night out!

Make sure to subscribe at – Life in the Fierce Lane